Meet the Family

Meet the Family

In light of recent events, I feel I must preface this piece by stating that the past few weeks have been very unkind. Having endured a betrayal by my best friend with someone I was very interested in, nothing has spent more time in my analytical mind and slightly bruised heart. Not the Bach Prelude I must finish learning, not the endless amount of homework and studying that needs to get done, not the six concerts I am attending within the span of two weeks, not even the music that has held my sanity for so long. Nothing. Only the constant replay of the rejection by the object of my affection – in romance and as of late, in friendship.

Rejection is something that I have experienced numerous times. In fact I am so acquainted with him that at times I feel closer to him than I do with most people. We have all experienced him to a certain degree – some more extensively than others. It is human nature to accept what we do like and what we do not like. Think of an infant’s horrified face when he tastes something bitter – which he is likely to spit out – and his face when he resigns himself to the pleasure of that sweet something. This simple theory spans right across many aspects of us beings, if not all. Mark R. Leary writes that we “human beings devote great effort to obtaining the attention, approval, and acceptance of other people” because we “are an exceptionally social species with a strong need to belong and an even stronger aversion to being rejected. We not only spend most of our lives in proximity with other people but also typically want those individuals to accept us at some minimal level.”

When we rub shoulders with Rejection, he typically comes bearing not-so-glad tidings. And those tidings translate to “you’re not good enough.” Leary states that we are attracted to mates who match or exceed our physical and intellectual capabilities and attributes. He refers to this phenomenon as Falling Upward. This means that rejection is more likely to hang-out with you than not. Take the case of a potential romantic partner for instance; we reject someone’s affection toward us (even though we are beings that are constantly seeking approval and acceptance) because we find their intellect, physical features, and other traits undesirable to us. They do not meet the standards we have set for the one partner we hope to find. We believe, inadvertently, that they are not worthy of us. We are better. We will indulge in the yummy, bare the bland, and spit out whatever makes us gag. Although we are averse to admitting it, we think and feel ourselves superior. Meet Rejection’s parents – Superiority and Inferiority.

Mind you, Superiority and Inferiority do not only have one child, they have many. Come meet some of the family members: Over here we have Anti-semitism, Ageism, Sexism, and the one watching T.V. in the den is Racism. He doesn’t talk much but we know he is there. The other “-isms,” as I like to call Superiority and Inferiority’s children, are running around the house and yard. It’s not an easy job keeping track of such a large family. They cause mayhem. I guess it’s their way of  making their presence known.

Racism is one of Superiority and Inferiority’s children who seems to like me a lot. He always wants to spend time with me. I don’t like to because he is exceptionally unpleasant.

My parents moved from the townships in South Africa to the suburbs when they could afford it. The townships, unlike American townships, are where the majority of the black people live in any of the outskirts of the cities. We moved to the suburbs and we lived among the many white folk. My parents loved the fact that I was in mixed-race schools and was growing up in a South Africa that they could only dream of as a young one. My mom tried to preserve this thinking pattern in me when she had to answer my question I had asked her earlier:
“They treat me differently. Why mama?”
“Because you’re black my boy. There are some people who don’t like other people for silly reasons like that. They look down on us. But you must accept others as they are.”
I can not, in all honesty, say that I experienced racial discrimination at school back home extensively. Nothing that was blatant. Nothing that was subtle. We, school-children knew we were different, but we accepted each other as we were. All the way from pre-school to high-school. Outside of school was different. I found similarities when I came to the States. But what really caught my attention is how my lecturers would ask me a question that was related to Africa and expect me to know the answer to it. Or how they would talk about Nigeria, Congo, Mozambique or some other country in Africa, and expect me to relate. The intentions, I believe, are always good; a way to find some common ground and relate and make feel welcomed the foreigners. Professor bell hooks refers to this phenomenon as objectifying when she talks about her teaching experiences in a multicultural classroom:

Transforming these classrooms is as great a challenge as learning how to teach well in the setting of diversity. Often, if there is one lone person of color in the classroom she or he is objectified by the others and forced to assume the role of the “native informant.” For example, a novel is read by a Koran American author. White students turn to the one student from a Korean background to explain what they do not understand. This places an unfair responsibility onto that student. Professors can intervene in this process by making it clear from the outset that experience does not make one an expert, and perhaps even by explaining what it means to place someone in the role of “native informant.” it must be stated that professors cannot intervene if they also see students as “native informants.”

I remember my cousin, Patrick (we used to call him Pat-pat), loved being a teacher. Having been in predominantly white/multicultural private schools for my entire life, I sometimes felt some kind of displaced obligation about being at the schools I was blessed to be in. My cousin constantly asked me about available teaching jobs at my schools. Needless to say I was not clued up about this at all. His consistent interrogation about my schools’ system had me wondering why he really wanted to be there. Did he genuinely want a better job at well-respected schools? Did he believe he would be deemed good enough by the only-white teachers we had? Did he have something to prove?  Did he want to disprove preconceptions that people had about black people? This stirred a pot of thoughts and questions about myself too: Why was I not sure whether I wanted him there? Was it because I would feel embarrassed that he was my cousin? Was it perhaps because I did not think he would be seen as worthy? I found the answer when I ventured into my bedroom, lay on my queen-sized bed, and stared up at the ceiling. Why did I always work so hard? I wanted to be one of the few black people that could do it. Meaning achieve those awards. Do the things that mostly white children would do such as being an organist. I recall having thoughts of wanting to be one of the first black world-renowned South African organists. Why were my motivations so profoundly based on race? Why was I constantly trying to prove myself? I do not know the answer to that just yet, but I believe it is rooted in my not believing that I was not good enough. Rejection tells me this every time he pays me a visit. I do know that I did not want the typical negative stereotypes being attached to me. I got those awards and managed to disassociate myself with those stereotypes and generalisations. Pat-pat passed away a few years ago. He never taught at the schools he hoped to teach in.

I often wonder what challenges I will face as a potential black teacher. Stereotypes about black, white, jewish, asian, Indian, south american, and others, will always be everywhere I go. Do I constantly have to disprove peoples’ generalisations and biased perspectives? I do not want to have to do that any longer. My will to work-hard has been successfully converted into a good work ethic. I now know that I am good enough. I have proved it to others. But most importantly, I have proven it to myself.

None of Superiority and Inferiority’s children are allowed in any of the schools. They are all banned and, thus, uneducated. Schools have a “zero-tolerance” policy when it comes to those “-ism” kids. I did tell you earlier that they like to cause mayhem and they always find a way into these places from which they are banished. You know where they break in? The mind. The dark crevices of man are his most private space. There he can murder, rape, abuse, and live out all his fantasies. And he can not be held accountable by anyone there – except himself. Laws and policies enforce against acts of prejudice, but thinking patterns are what need to be altered when it comes to the “-ism” siblings. And this can only be done through education. I do not think those mayhem kids were born by that skinny woman – no woman has that many children and keeps that figure! I am almost certain they were adopted through that local agency called Ignorance-Insults.

It will be my job as a potential teacher to keep my students away from such agents using education.

My friend Rejection and I will be friends for many years to come. We will never lose contact. He will not reject my friendship either – he is sweet. So accepting of everyone. We could all learn a thing about acceptance from Rejection. I did tell him though, that when we do go out for dinner and drinks in the future, he should not speak. Ever. I do not need to hear his message. His presence is more than enough for me. Is that not how it is with friends and other close people anyway?

Four-Leaf Clover

A sign of good fortune

“Legend has it that St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland. Sometime back in the fifth century he stood on a hill, the story goes, and used a staff to herd the slithering creatures into the sea, banishing them for eternity.”

Loreto Queenswood is a Catholic school in Queenswood, Pretoria. It is also a convent and was founded by sister Mary Ward in the 17th century. It was at this school where I first discovered my musical interest. I was at Loreto from pre-school till the end of standard three – also known as grade five. One of my teachers, Mrs O’Carroll if I remember correctly, said that it was “good luck to find a four-leaf clover.” So naturally, me and my entire class of fifteen children walked slowly back from the school’s church, scouring the ground for four-leaf clovers. There was a lot of excited screaming, “I found one!”… “No, it’s mine! I saw it first! I’m gonna tell Mrs O’Carroll if you don’t give it back!”…”That’s not even a real clover!” Unfortunately, it turns out no one was that lucky. The kids who thought they had spotted a four-leafed clover were highly disappointed when they realised that the fourth leaf was what turned out to be a deformed, leaf-like creature among the authentic leaves. Others split one of their leaves’ indents to “create” their fourth leaf, thereby, creating their good fortune. Children!  I wonder what the 21-leaf clover – that set a record for the most leaves on a clover in 2008 – would bring?

The reason four-leaf clovers are considered a sign of good luck is because they are a rare variation of the popular three-leaf clover. Add to this fact that in legend, it is believed that Eve, the supposedly-seductive woman, “carried a four-leaf clover from the Garden of Eden.” The three-leaf clover, also known as the Shamrock, is a plant that belongs to the genus of the pea family, Fabaceae, that St Patrick used to explain the Holy Trinity. It is now the emblem of Ireland. Because of it’s close relation to St Patrick and it’s colour, St Patrick’s Day is now celebrated as a green day. Green ribbons and shamrocks were/are worn by the Irish to celebrate this day. For the rest of us that do not have time to search for three-leaf clovers, let alone four-leaf clovers, we will stick to our green t-shirts and green hats.

St Patrick was never canonised (Canonise: officially declare a person to be a saint) by a Pope because during his era, this official act took place “on the diocesan or regional level.” Local churches declared the holy people as saints. Read the Letter to the soldiers of Coroticus, that St Patrick wrote, to get an idea of his faith. Other than the two letters that St Patrick wrote himself – the Letter to the soldiers of Coroticus and the Declaration – very little evidence is available about St Patrick.

Substantiation or not, AD 460 March 17 is the day that is believed to be the day that St Patrick died. Let the revelry begin! Happy St Patrick’s Day. I will carry on with my search for a four-leaf clover…

Sources:

1. Why Ireland Has No Snakes

2. St. Patrick’s Letter to Coroticus

3. Ask a Franciscan: Saints Come From All Nations

4. 21-Leaf Clover Sets Record

5. Facts About Four-Leaf Clovers

Peter Litvin

He pulls funny faces in recording sessions, tells me to shut up, orders me to do 904 takes of a harmony in a song, but my favourite is when he gets into my head and conjures what I hear only in the deep and dark crevices of my mind, and most importantly, he knows and loves what he does. Peter Litvin is the remarkable 25-year-old co-producer I have been working with over the past few months on my project, Proudly South African.

Peter, having been exposed to the likes of the Beach Boys, The Hermit, U2, and Fine Young Cannibals (all this on cassette tapes), began guitar lessons with a local guitar teacher who “drilled” him with music theory and aural and listening skill training that helped pave the way for his great musicianship. He went on to take music appreciation classes in college and, to my surprise, graduated with a Bachelor of Business Administration from Rochester College in Michigan.

May 22, 2009 was sunny and very warm day in New York and it was the first time I met Peter. He gave me a free session- a free four-and-a-half-hour recording session which we spent recording Hope. We completed the song through much hard work and I was so very pleased with his style that I decided then that I would complete the project with him.

Peter is a multi-instrumentalist: bass, guitar, keyboard and percussion. He also sheepishly adds “programming” into the list. A Michigan native, Peter has worked with a vast number of artists in that area such as Bobby Ebeling and Emily Rose and has also increased his popularity in and around New York City. Other esteemed clients of his services include General Motors and Jaguar Motor Car Corporation.

Peter is currently working on an album of his own titled Love Spectacle for release in May this year:

“So when exactly will it be released, Peter? Do you know the exact date?”
“Whatever that Tuesday is,” he responds with mocking smile.

I have not met anyone who strives for the perfect sound in the studio; “his obsession with perfecting the sound quality and artistry is constant” and when he isn’t pushing me to perform almost perfectly on a record, we enjoy taking time out. Our breaks in studio are filled with either stimulating conversation or by Peter fooling me with his card and magic tricks. He must think of me as an idiot. It was really magical! I look forward to working with Peter soon to create some more beautiful sounds, but until then, I hope you enjoy Proudly South African on the 11th of February.

For more info on Peter Litvin, visit his website

With the Notes In My Ears

With thanksgiving barely behind us, we have already moved on to our weekly chores and tasks. We have already forgotten about giving thanks. Most of us are rarely moved enough to create something for gratitude. But when we do, the creation can be something that is a tearjerker if profound and sincere.

With the Notes In My Ears

Oh the ones I often dreamed of

With the notes in my ears

And the ones I often mimicked

With the notes on my fingers

And my bed is on the floor

Yes, my bed is on the floor

Of one of the ones I often dreamed of

With the notes in my fingers

That’s why I know I can say I’m lucky today

That’s how I know that it’s time to be brave

With the Notes In My Ears is a song written by Peter Broderick. It was written for his album titled Home which was released on the 23rd of September, 2008. Had I not been watching Grey’s Anatomy a few weeks ago, I would not have found this song. The song quickly made its way to my iPod and I tried to interpret the song. I wasn’t satisfied with what I came up with and was lucky enough to be able to get in touch with Peter Broderick and asked him what the song was really about.

Growing up, one of Peter’s favourite bands was Efterklang - a Danish rock/alternative band. He was invited to join them towards the end of 2007 which was an “absolute dream come true.” They were the ones he would often dream of with his headphones on [...with the notes in my ears...]; the ones who he mimicked and drew inspiration from for his songwriting and playing.

Peter had left his entire life behind in Portland, Oregon. He had no place to stay in Denmark,  and one of the band members – Rasmus Stolberg who plays bass, guitar and other instruments – gave him shelter with a little bed on the floor. He was one of the ones Peter had dreamed of. It is not easy to leave your life behind, but he felt blessed enough to have the opportunity to play with musicians he had only dreamed of.

“I felt (and still feel) extremely lucky about all of this…”

When gratitude is sincere and profound, a tearjerker is born

Take a listen and share your interpretation of this hauntingly beautiful song.

Golden Oldies 6

 

It is long overdue, but it is here now – the sixth golden oldie. We have heard it sung by Foreigner in 1982, followed by Tina Arena who did her own rendition back in 1998. Now it’s back, in true R&B and Mariah Carey style, 2009.

I want to know what love is was written by Mick Jones and Lou Gramm. The version for Foreigner was produced by Alex Sadkin. Tina’s version was produced by Mick Jones, who is also a band member of Foreigner. This version sounded similar to the original version, although Tina did make it her own.

Mariah Carey’s version was co-produced by C. “Tricky” Stewart, James “Big Jim” Wright and herself. Like any other cover she has sung, Mariah Carey truly sings this in her own style. It starts off very gently with a piano. The whispered vocals, the trills and embellishments, and finally, her world-renowned whistle register are the ingredients she uses to make this song spectacular. All this done with a beautiful gospel choir backing her up.

This is what Mick Jones said of her version:

I think she’s actually retained the integrity of the song. You know, the arrangement is very similar to the original. They haven’t tampered with the song too much. She’s captured a certain emotional thing, a feeling. And you know, it’s always flattering to have people cover your songs. Well, sometimes not so flattering (laughs) depending on who it is. But I think she’s put a lot of emotion into it. You can feel that she’s gotten inside of the song.

You can find the entire interview at Songfacts.

Here is Mariah Carey’s rendition of I want to know what love is.

Think Globally, Act Locally!

Think Globally, Act Locally! A different approach…

I have always had an interest in understanding the mind and its intricacies. How does it work? Who or what moulds it? Am I normal? These are all questions I have asked myself on numerous occasions as I’m sure many of you have too. They aren’t exactly questions you can answer by sitting down and following a simple formula – abstract is what they are. In order for me to gain some form of understanding, I decided to take psych. In personality psychology, we examined Freud’s theory and after a very long time, we moved on to Carl Jung. I like him. I like him and his theories because I can identify with them.

Carl Jung believed that there are three levels to the psyche (personality in Jungian theory) – the Conscious, the Personal Unconscious and the Collective Unconscious levels respectively. The Conscious being the only part of our mind that we, humans, are directly aware of. The Personal Unconscious being the experiences that are “drained” by the ego into this bank which our minds repress for one reason or another. The Collective Unconscious is what caught my attention.

The Collective Unconscious is said to be a “pool” of latent images/info that Jung called the “Primordial Images.” It is a part of the psyche that has never been conscious to the individual, is not dependent on the individual’s experience (like the Personal Unconscious), and it is inherited/accessible by/to everyone. It is like we inherit predispositions or potentialities from our ancestral past.

The Collective Unconscious has been explained in a number of ways. Much like the process of natural selection, or survival of the fittest, a mutation occurs to help an organism to survive. This mutation is passed down genetically from one generation to the next. We have this information in us, but we are not aware of it (unconscious). Another way to understand it is by thinking of the things we do daily. We practise or do things daily; these activities become our habits. Habits, even though they are learned, become instincts when we do not unlearn them. We may react to certain situations in a way that is habitual. If I am not mistaken, I believe this is the doctrine of acquired characters – Lamarckism.

This is an example from a book called A Primer of Jungian Psychology by Calvin S. Hall and Vernon J. Nordby: ” Since primitive man was exposed to harm from poisonous snakes, his fear of them would cause him to take precautions against being bitten. Thus, the mutation or mutations that caused the fear and hence the precautions would increase man’s chance of survival so that the changes in the germ plasm would be passed on to succeeding generations. In other words, the evolution of a collective unconscious can be accounted for in the same way that the evolution of the body is explained. Because the brain is the principal organ of the mind, the collective unconscious depends directly upon the evolution of the brain.”

Now with Jung’s theory in mind, we can safely assume that what we do today can aid future generations around the world. We may not realise it, but the things we do locally do not only affect the people around us. The effects are global. Can we be more conscious of the things we do, so that they become instinctual, and therefore, add to our collective unconscious pool so that future generations can draw upon this info?

Think globally, act locally!

Believe, reach and achieve!

As idyllic and naive as this may sound, I truly believe that we everyone deserves to be happy. To achieve all that they can, live, love, laugh and cry and truly experience the joys and let downs of being human. Everyone is entitled to reach the serenity and joy of just being.

These are some of the songs I tend to turn to when that imp-like thing called doubt begins to creep in:

It was the year 2003 when I first heard the 1996 Olympic Song. We  (the Drakensberg Boys’ Choir) were preparing for a special television recording to be broadcast on SABC 2 and we walked into choir rehearsal, and were told about this. Gloria Estefan’s Reach was the song we listened to first. With the fat drums and the choir, the song has an African feel to it. What an Empowering Song that is!

The following year, I watched the movie Honey starring Jessica Alba. Needless to say that Yolanda Adam’s soulful and passionate voice inspired me in the song I Believe. My sister and I loved this song, still do.

Last year, I came across Chris Brown’s Dreamer. Another great song.

I believe in myself, and anything that will speak to me the way my heart does I gladly accpet. There is nothing that can not be done, we create all we have by thought, speaking and doing. Thought, word and deed. Believe, reach and acheive. Do you believe in yourself?

Golden Oldies 4

Golden Oldies 4

I am sitting at Millburn’s Taylor Park after having watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy while eating a poppy-seed bagel with a hearty spread of Sundried Tomato spread and listening to these Golden Oldies called The Four Tops.

It was only last week when I was watching my favourite actress, Julia Roberts, in Something to Talk About. The song came on near the end of the movie during some celebration and I paused the movie, googled the lyrics that I could make out, and that is how The Four Tops and I crossed paths.

I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar, Pie Honey Bunch) is the song that is in question. With a very similar arrangement to Where Did Our Love Go by The Supremes with the echoey drumbeat and bouncy bass, the song is another one of the Motown factory’s hit songs. The chord structure is very similar and it was also produced by the same production team that made so many hit songs – Holland-Dozier-Holland.

Some people refer to the Four Tops as the male version of The Supremes. The group’s lead singer was a Levi Stubbs who passed away on October 17, 2008 at the age of 72.

Check out The Four Tops’ Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch! They are having fun!

Pleasant Surprises

Album Cover

After a mere 4 hours of sleep last night, I woke up this morning at 5 ante meridiem to start packing for my birthday weekend in Seattle. I don’t know why I didn’t pack the night before. That’s a lie. I do know; I was too lazy to sort everything out. My host mom took me to the airport, I checked in (even though I’d done the whole online check-in thingie) and I went shopping with only 25 minutes left before departure.

I finally made it onto the plane after the terribly long lines, we taxied and waited in another long line of departing planes. Now here I am sitting on the plane on my way to Seattle to see my friends and family.

I must admit that I am looking forward to tomorrow (August 7th) because everything leading up to this day has been so sincere and profound. I received my first birthday gift about 3 weeks ago. My host mom purchased a ticket for me to Seattle – until this morning I didn’t realise that it was first a First Class Ticket!

Yesterday (August 5th), my friends gave me an early birthday surprise. I also thought I had to work but I didn’t. My very good friend Josefin, invited me for our usual walk together and we detoured – I didn’t think much of it and the next thing I knew I had people screaming and scaring the heck out me! The signs were all there but I failed to pay attention to them and put four and three together. I was no longer a surprise party virgin. I am very grateful to my friends for everything – it meant more than you could imagine.

It doesn’t end there; Dianne and I met a South African family last year and I am very fond of them. Last night, their oldest son, and my new friend, called and asked me to pop by before leaving, regardless of the time. So at 10:35 post meridiem I head on over and I introduce him to two of my friends. He leads us to the garage and points to the bike and says Happy Birthday. I didn’t know what to say. I know I probably sound like an excited 4 year old what with getting a new bike and all, but I was really excited. Still am.

In the spirit of celebration and excitement and happiness, I am very pleased to announce that Ngqibs – Let Me Be: Recharged will be available for purchase through CD Baby from the 27th of August. It doesn’t end there either; Hope,the first song from the almost-ready 5-track EP will be also be available at most major digital music stores.

New song from Ngqibs upcoming EP

I chose this day for release because it is my sister’s birthday. I am very excited to hear your thoughts on the song – you can listen to it on my Facebook Page.

So now I hope you can understand the anticipation of my big day. Turning 21, seeing Seattle and my friends again is going to be great. The only thing that would make my birthday perfect would be seeing my family again, but that won’t happen (or will it??? pleeeeze ), I will settle for a phone call. I miss and love you all.

Yours in Singing

Ngqibs

Golden Oldies 3

Did I mention in the previous entries that I am a sucker for love some love songs? Well, in case you didn’t know, I am.

My sister and I have been emailing frequently these past couple of weeks and I remembered a song I had heard from one of her many CDs. It was in Zwide Township (the dusty area at which we enjoyed spending time), at my grandmother’s house, when I heard this song and took note.

The Golden Oldie in question is Power of Love/Love Power. It is a medley actually of the two songs respectively. Power of Love was co-written by Luther Vandross, Teddy Vann and Marcus Miller.

Love Power is a song that was done by The Sandpebbles and was a small hit in the late ’60s. With the addition of Lisa Fischer, Cissy Houston and Darlene Love to the backing vocals, Luther added his rendition to his song and made one of biggest solo hits of his career.

“When we walk, down the street, we don’t care who we see or who we meet.”

Here is the original version of Love Power by none other than The Sandpebbles themselves.

Find out for yourself why this song has so much power.