The Queen B elects to Pantsula

As I’m sure everybody knows, Beyonce’s new video is out and I have no better word to describe than fierce. I had been looking forward to seeing the accompanying visuals to this woman-empowering anthem.

So here I am this morning doing my normal email-facebook routine and I come across Who Run The World‘s new music video. I’m excited and I click play. From the get-go, the anticipatory and tension-filled music has me hooked! I mean hook, line and sinker; from the stallion she is riding to the lion crouching beside her, I am hooked. Her gaze meets the camera and she looks more beautiful than the Cleopatra she is emulating. She does her walk, the music starts and out comes Sasha – oh snap! This is gonna be hot, I think to myself!

The chorus kicks in and the very first movements she does scream isiPantsula! uyaPantsula I think to myself. Throughout the entire first verse she Pantsulas. Initially I wasn’t pleased with this at all – she is jacking one of South Africa’s dancing styles, I thought! Is she going to give credit where it’s due? Perhaps it was the attitude she performed it with, or the fact that she had two Mozambican kwaito dancers dancing with her, or maybe because she did the flat-footed dance in heels that won me over.

ukuPantsula means “to waddle,” like geese do. I don’t like geese – that’s a story for another time. I am not entirely sure whether it is a Xhosa or Zulu word since the two languages share so many words – I would say Xhosa but I don’t want to anger any Zulu-speakers. isiPantsula was developed in the townships of South Africa primarily by males. I have memories of my childhood in Mamelodi Gardens, in Pretoria, where the older guys would be wearing All Star shoes or Converse (as is in the video) doing the pantsula and competing to see who was more skilled at it; in a style similar to breakdancing here in the United States. The dance requires you some serious technique.

I must say that she actually does a good job in the video – especially in heels. I wish she would “waddle” a little more and add more of the flair of the nonchalant flair that isiPantsula has – and she captures it in some moments. I am impressed with her hard work. It is not an easy style to crack! And thank you for releasing the video on South Africa’s democratic election day. Coincidence or not, it makes a point.

Bravo Queen B! F*** you if you don’t like me…or her

Check out some South Africans doing the Real Makoya!

Like, REALLY???

“Oh my gosh! I love, love, love it! It’s awesome!!”
Okay. I get it. You like it. A lot. Why the overkill?

I’ve been asked by many people whether I’ve experienced a lot of cultural shock being that I come from South Africa. There are many similarities and differences but nothing comes to mind as quickly as the overkill, magnification, embellishment, and exaggeration of simple statements! “Girlfriend, do you really like that top that much???”

I get it, some people (like you) love, luv, lurv, to be expressive. These people have a tendency to want to be number one in everything they do by one-upping (or should I say three-upping?) the rest of the world. But have you noticed how you’ve “one-upped” yourself into a corner? A corner lacking…wait for it…breathe…let’s overuse the ellipses…still waiting?…good…adjectives!
Wait! What?! That didn’t even make sense. Ugh (I just need to be overtly flambouyant now)! Don’t you just hate it when people do that? Just tell me what on God’s green earth you want to say. A corner lacking adjectives? YES!

“I detest that kid. Absolutely loath him. He makes my skin crawl.”

“We’ve like become so accustomed to like being soooo like over the top that we like become like impervious (oops, that’s too big a word!), unaffected!…by hearing like someone express their feelings about like someone/thing.”
 Like really?! As far as I know, “like” is a simile. Pardon me if I’m incorrect.
“So what I’m saying is that we have almost become so accustomed to almost being soooo almost over the top that we almost become almost imp…(nope!)…unaffected by hearing almost someone express their feelings about almost someone/thing.” Do you blame me for always looking confused when we’re chatting? What’s the point of trying to be number one when every third word you utter is almost “almost?” Almost doesn’t count.

I have a proposition: Let’s minimise everything. Love what you really love. Don’t be afraid to say that you simply “like” something. Nothing wrong with that. Recipients of these words: Do not be offended. Liking something is a good thing. Look at Facebook! But now it’s my turn to confuse you: Stop “liking” everything. I. Am. Sure. We. Can. Think. Of. What. We. Need. To. Say. Before. We. Say. It. I mean, the way we speak is like, really, seriously, unbelievably, incredibly, unrealistically…I don’t even have the words to describe it!